Meteorological scales like Beaufort are an essential part of tasks such as building, shipping or rigging work where real people regularly face conditions which truly threaten life, but there’s a class of First World Problems that could benefit from a more refined scale to which everyday people can relate, and which answers essential questions, such as:
When cycling to work on a windy day, how presentable will your hair be immediately upon arrival at the office ?
- No maintenance required: perfect turnout
- Some light work need, but fingers generally enough
- Comb and/or brush work needed
- Requires a mirror*, comb and/or brush
- Requires comb/brush, water and a mirror
- A mirror, product and/or hairspray essential
- Showertime – nothing else can help
- An emergency Marine buzz-cut is the only thing possible for your Gorgon-scaring coiffure
(* Of course, cameraphones turned to Selfie are optional if over 40, de rigueur if under)
Right, now to get that onto the BBC/ITV weather, hopefully before the Pollen count.