17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists…by Michael Moore

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6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that’s a start. We’ve got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes!

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  1. Number 2: Bush’s victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

    Okay, so this number 2 statistic (from the site) sounds like a good reason to not slit your wrists. However, the flip side of the coin (and I’m sure GWB will start pushing this point sooner or later, if he hasn’t already) is that more people voted for him in this election than any previous candidate in any previous election; it’s all a matter of how you read the statistics.

    I still think the number 1 reason from the list is the best. Thankyou to whoever passed that law 🙂

  2. It’d be nice to think it was written specifically with Dubya in mind, but sadly it’s just a generic law. Still mighty handy in a case like this, tho.